


Cute Shit and Angsty Shit and Funny Shit and Romantic Shit.

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Collection of Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, cute shit, darcy teaching the dinosaurs pop culture, oops some not platonic stuff hehe, starting out tame, will be more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:56:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1592432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Avengers drabbles involving a lot of orgies, a lot of cute interactions, a variety of sexualities and gender identities, more angst than you can bite your toe nails at, a few original characters for my lovely and darling friends, maybe some vikings, maybe some witches, more orgies, a few dashes of things like cooking pasta naked, LotR, and a few more orgies. (Okay, not that many orgies, but a lot of sexual interactions. Those chapters will be marked as explicit.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            “No one’s told you to watch Lord of the Rings?”

            Darcy’s voice was incredulous, confused, and Steve shrugged. Bucky raised his hand.

            “What _is_ Lord of the Rings?” he asked, and Darcy gasped, pressed her palm to her heart dramatically.

            “You’ve never even heard of the _books_?” she stared at both of them, back and forth. “J.R.R. Tolkien? Elves and dwarves and hobbits with hairy feet? ”

            “I’ve read The Hobbit,” Rogers piped up. Darcy turned on her heel and beckoned for them both to follow her back to her room. “He wrote more books?”

            Steve found his hands full of a box set, and looked up.

            “Let me know when you finish reading them!”

 

 

* * *

 

            “But this wasn’t like the books!” Bucky threw a paper plate at the tv screen. “There weren’t any elves at Helm’s Deep, just men. I mean, wasn’t that the point??”

            “I know, I know,” Darcy waved her hands and stuffed a few chips into her mouth. “But PJ thought the inclusion would be more effective for the audience. Arwen was almost in this scene, you know.”

            Bucky scoffed and settled back on the couch, arms crossed. Steve pointed at Haldir as he collapsed.

            “I don’t mind, I think. I mean, for someone who hasn’t read the books, I can see how this helps. The book makes it seem almost hopeless. I almost prefer this.”

            “Hopeless?” Bucky tossed another plate at Steve’s head. “It was great! Proving to Saruman that the race of man is capable of defeating him and all that. They won against the odds, and they didn’t need a bunch of pointy-eared pricks to help.”

            “I wouldn’t call them _pricks,_ exactly-“

            “Definitely pricks.”

            Steve shook his head and chuckled at the pair of them.

            “So what comes after this, Darce?”

            “Whatchya mean?”

            “What movie is next? Did they make a movie of The Hobbit? Or should we watch something else?”

            There was silence for a moment, and Darcy smiled brightly and shrugged.

            “I can promise Bucky will break my tv if I try to show him the movies they made of the Hobbit. Yes, _movies_. But there are other books and movies I could show you. Bring you up to snuff on modern day pop culture? Oooh, we can watch tv shows, too. This is going to be fantastic!'

            “They made more than one movie for The Hobbit? What the fuck?”


	2. Naked Pasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil somethin for a frienddd

The day had been long, Natasha decided. Way too long. Painfully long. And she was nowhere near home. New York, New York was 228 miles more than she wanted to travel to get to her government-sanctioned apartment, and so of course she sent a quick message to Tony so that he knew she’d be dropping in. Possibly covered in blood. Maybe some guts. Was that brain matter in her hair? Stark Tower was close enough, and she had a _whole_ floor to herself there.

            The surprise didn’t come when JARVIS directed her to the back of the building, where the elevator took her retinal scan and unlocked. It didn’t come when she traveled up and up to her floor, where she finally managed to bathe and get into some comfortable clothes. No, the surprise came when she began to sneak around the other floors; Thor wasn’t around, neither was Steve or Bucky, Clint was on a mission, and Tony was at his house with Pepper. She thought she would be alone.

            Until she began to wander on Bruce’s floor, and found Bruce in his kitchen with a wooden spoon in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Standing in front of the stove. Wearing an apron. And nothing else.

            She coughed, and he nearly dropped the bottle before he swung around and looked just a tad green around the gills. Heh. _Green_.

            “Nat,” he breathed and stared at her, obviously quite confused, and looking a bit. . .alarmed. His voice dropped to a whisper. “What are you doing here? Tony said the building would be empty tonight, I didn’t think there was-“

            “Finished a mission, didn’t feel like driving 228 miles to get back to DC,” she narrowed her eyes at him and tilted her head. “Is there a reason you’re cooking pasta naked?”

            “Yes,” he watched her warily, shifted uncomfortably. “Can you leave? Maybe go to. . .who’s floor is on the bottom?”

            “My own,” she took a seat at his kitchen table and smiled slyly. “I’m trying to run the scenarios in my head as to why, but I thought you couldn’t. . .well. . .not without the ‘other guy’ showing up.”

            Bruce turned beet red and shook his head vehemently.

            “Don’t, please, just go back where you came from and don’t tease me tonight, please Natasha,” he pleaded with her and waved his spoon at the door. “Any other night you can poke fun all you want, but just. . .not tonight. Please?”

            Nat’s brow raised and she stood up, smiling wickedly and sauntered backwards across the room. But it was too late.

            “Bruce! I finished studyinggg,” a voice sounded from what Natasha assumed was the bedroom, and out popped a girl with braided hair and a sweet smile. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be having any visitors. I’m Shaina.”

            The girl offered her hand and Natasha took it, cracked a grin at Bruce and nothing more when she noticed that Shaina wore only an oversized man’s shirt and some fuzzy slippers. The blush on her face seemed to indicate she knew just how little she was wearing, but

            “Very nice to meet you,” Nat’s smile grew as she continued to glance between the two of them. “I think I should probably go, however. Got somewhere to be, and you guys seem a bit busy, so. . .”

            “Bye, Natasha,” Bruce waved furiously until Nat slipped out the front door, and she listened at the door once she closed it.

            “Was that Black Widow?? Oh dear!”

            “Don’t worry about it, honestly. That’s the first time she’s stopped at the Tower on her own. _Ever._ ”


	3. Starbucks Sells Overpriced Milkshakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, a frapuccino is just a glorified milkshake that you paid $6 for. I do it, too. It's okay, just accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for buckysexual on tumblr because she was getting swarmed with Hydra Trash Party defenders, and I'm also posting it here. Don't tell her if she doesn't already know, pretty please. I'd prefer to remain anonymous to her ;)

"Bucky?"

The Winter Soldier turned away from the balcony, furrowed brows giving way to a look of adoration. Darcy and Steve were bustling through the front door carrying paper bags, and a cardboard cupholder balanced on Darcy's elbow.

"You took longer than usual," he caught the drinks before they fell, and slung his arm around Darcy's waist, chuckling when she slapped his arm.

"Let me put some stuff away," she wiggled out of his grasp and shoved some bags on the table. Steve was filling the fruit basket. "Then we can do the sexy stuff."

Bucky leaned against the island in their kitchen and grabbed an apple out of the crook of Steve's arm, who shot him a withering look.

"If you help, things will go faster!" Darcy sing-songed from the floor in front of the refrigerator. 

"We got you one of those milkshakes from her coffee place," Steve shoved the cupholder in Bucky's direction, then reached up to put some spices in the highest shelf.

"It's not a milkshake," Darcy nipped Steve's shoulder as she squeezed past him. She let out a weary sigh before putting the bags of coffee on the counter. "It's a frappucino."

"Milkshake."

Bucky swore he heard Darcy growl at his comment.

"I didn't pay six whole dollars for a milkshake," she was biting her lip, he could tell. Biting her lip and grinding her teeth like she always did when they agitated her. Her hands were opening a box of pasta, filling a pot with water. He couldn't see her face. "Every time we have this argument, I win. Why even bother, Buckster?"

Steve snorted and Bucky glared right at him. The blonde just shrugged and smirked as he opened a jar of sauce into a pan.

"What's it made out of?" Bucky had been home all day, left alone with his thoughts. A little teasing never hurt Darcy. In fact, a little teasing usually hurt him, and ended with his face between her legs. "Milk, ice, cream?"

"Espresso," Darcy shot back, and leaned against the counter top, arms crossed as she stared him down. "It's coffee, Buck, coffee with stuff added to it so the taste isn't so awful."

Bucky slid around the island and advanced on her, trying so hard to hide the smile slipping onto his lips. This was a serious conversation. Absolutely, 100% legitimate. They would ignore Steve's stifled snickering.

"But what is the point of the espresso?" Bucky spread his hands and lifted his brows. "Almost as a flavor the ice cream, wouldn't you say? Don't they make coffee ice cream nowadays? Not like the old fashioned flavors we used to have."

"But it's not coffee ice cream," Darcy poked him in the chest and narrowed her eyes. "It's coffee. Coffee with cream and milk and ice. And in this case bits of chocolate. The point of the drink is the coffee, not the other stuff."

"Then why don't they leave out all the crap that makes it taste sweet?"

"Because some people like it that way."

"Doesn't change the fact that it's hardly coffee anymore."

"Ahem."

Both of them turned, and Steve glanced between them before jerking his head to the pot of water, boiling water. Darcy dumped the noodles into it, but before she could turn around, Bucky was pressed against her and nibbling at her ear. She shuddered.

"You know this isn't over, just on hold," she ground her hips back and reached for Steve's hand.

"Sure babe, sure."

Steve woke up two times that night to loud whispers determining the coffee to milk to ice ratio of a milkshake. A slap to one party and a kiss to the other tended to make them forget.


	4. Beards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beards? Beards <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B E A R D S  
> (Also this chapter is nsfw !) not edited

Fall was coming, and Darcy Maria Lewis was quite ready to enjoy pumpkin _everything_ , the biggest cardigans and sweaters in the world (yes, her boyfriend's belongings were included in this), and facial hair. Facial hair was too inclusive of a word, she decided. Beards. She was very very ready for beards. Especially after the first time she had met Bucky, scruff shadowing his entire face. At the time, she had barely even noticed it, more concerned that _Captain fucking America_ was on her porch with _The fucking Winter Soldier holy shit Steve what the hell is wrong with you ????_ leaning on him, barely awake.

But curled up on the couch with her feet in one lap and her head in the other, she propped herself up to look at Bucky with narrowed eyes. He caught her glance and raised a brow. No one ever knew what to expect when Darcy made faces like that.

"What do you do during fall?" Bucky snorted and smiled.

"You're going to need to be more specific, doll."

"Your hair. What do you do with it during the fall."

"Same as I always do?"

"Grow a beard."

Steve and Bucky shared a look before Rogers started chuckling.

"What?" Steve smiled and leaned down to kiss her nose. She always liked that.

"We've always had to shave so we'd look good for the public," he said, and rubbed a hand over his face. "But neither of us enjoys it much. Too much effort."

"And razor burn," Bucky added. "It doesn't last long because of the serum, but long enough to be annoying."

"Amen, amen," Darcy said, and laid her head back in Steve's lap. "So you'll both grow a beard now, right? There's no reason not to. Beards are totally in right now."

"i'll have to buy some moustache wax and-"

"No."

oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo

"Oh!"

Darcy slapped a hand over her mouth and scrabbled behind her, trying to steady herself. Muscles were not good for balancing on. Bucky took her other hand and pressed close, his chest to her back, and wrapped his cold arm around her middle. She shivered.

"Might wanna hurry, Stevie," he mouthed at Darcy's neck and glanced down at Steve. Her legs were thrown over Steve's shoulders, ankles locked tight against his back. His hands gripped her ass and held her close. She wasn't going anywhere. "I don't know what they use this closet for."

"She said she wanted enough to leave her sore," he murmured against her thigh, rubbed his cheek along the reddened skin. She shuddered and squirmed. Steve licked slowly, relishing in the tiny noises she couldn't hold in. "I'll be done when I'm done."

Bucky nipped and rubbed his own cheek against her shoulders and neck, smiling as everything not covered in her deep blush was scratched up and even darker. The black and blue marks had her preening and smiling when she saw them in the mirror, and had Steve and him happy to see her marked as their own. She shuddered again and nearly lost her balance in his arms.

"So close," she breathed out against her palm, and turned to look up at Bucky, lips oh so red and swollen from their kisses. Bucky smirked. "Please, oh god, please don't stop-"

Steve's mouth was on her again, licking and sucking and nipping, and she fell back against Bucky in a desperate attempt to stay upright.

"I've got you, babe," he took her bottom lip between his teeth, scratched his metal fingers against her belly. Darcy yelped and grew tense in his grip, her thighs squeezed together and Steve's muffled chuckling meant she was coming oh so sweetly for them. Bucky bit down on her neck again and her mouth fell open, head fell back against his shoulder. She shuddered and shivered as she came, damn near twitching as the aftershocks passed through her and left her limp in his arms. Steve slowly brought her feet to the ground. He stood carefully, and the pair of them balanced her with gentle touches and kisses all over. She grinned.

"Beard burn is the best thing ever invented," she said, and leaned up to kiss Steve, and grinned as she tasted herself on his lips. "You've got a little something on your chin, though."

"Wonder what it is," he wiped a hand across his face and grinned before leaning again. "I don't think we'll be shaving in a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beards !!!!!!!


End file.
